Christmas Parodies
by TempestJo
Summary: For fun, I "Bonesified" some xmas carols. No offense is ment, these are all done in fun. I didn't do any of the more religous songs, so I don't think anyone will be offended in any case.
1. White Christmas

**I'm dreaming of a BONES Christmas Just like the ones We used to seeWhere the outfits glisten and criminals go missin' And people find corpses in the snow**

(dum dum dum)

**I'm dreaming of a BONES Christmas With Murder underneath the Christmas tree, with remains to be sifted,**

**And fingerprints to be lifted, And maybe some of Caroline's mistletoe..**

(dum dum dum)

**We're dreaming of a BONES Christmas With every special that we see, May our xmas be murderous, Boothy and bright And may all Hart's Christmases be white. **


	2. Brennan

Brennan's Secret XMAS song (Santa Baby)

Booth baby, put yourself under the tree, for me

Been an awful good girlBooth baby, so hurry to my place tonight

Booth baby, a .54 Magnum too, or two

I'll wait up for you dear Booth baby, so hurry to my place tonight

Think of all the fun I've missed

Think of all the fellas that I haven't kissed

Next year I could be just as good

If you'd check off my Christmas list

Boo doo bee doo

Booth baby, I want you to be my man and that's

Not a scam

Been an angel all year

Booth baby, so some over to my place tonight

Booth honey, I'll buy a really big plasma tv,

If you promise never to leave,

Booth baby, so hurry over to my place tonight

Booth cutie and fill my stocking with chocolate, and wine

Bring yourself here to me

Booth cutie, and hurry to my place tonight

Come and trim my Christmas tree

With some decorations Parker made for me

I really do believe in you

Let's see if you believe in me

Boo doo bee doo

Booth baby, forgot to mention one little thing, a ring

I don't mean on a phone

Booth baby, so hurry over to my place tonight

Hurry to my place tonight

Hurry ... tonight


	3. All I Want For Christmas

**Everybody pauses and stares at him..**

**That shirt is buttoned up as you can see**

**I don't know just who to blame for this catastrophe!**

**But our one wish on Christmas Eve is as plain as it can be!**

**because:**

** All we want for Christmas**

**is a shirtless Booth,**

**a shirtless Booth,**

**to see a shirtless Booth,**

**Gee, if we could only**

**see a shirtless Booth,**

**then we could truly have a"Merry Christmas."**

**It seems so long since we have seen,**

**Seeley Booth sitting in the bathtub,**

**Gosh oh gee, how happy we'd be,**

**if he would only strip off….. (whistles here please)**

**All we want for Christmas**

**is a shirtless Booth,**

**a shirtless Booth,**

**to see a shirtless Booth..**

**Gee, if we could only**

**see a shirtless Booth,**

**Then we could drool away Our Christmas!**

**(AN- I wrote this before I found out we are getting a shirtless Booth for xmas.)**


	4. Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer

**Someone got run over by a reindeer **

**Walking home from shopping Christmas eve.**

** You can say there's such a thing as Santa,**

** But Booth and Brennan, they don't believe.**

**They'd been drinkin' too much egg nog,**

** And we'd told them not to go.**

** But we couldn't fault their dedication,**

** when they stumbled out the door into the snow. **

**What they found that Christmas mornin',**

** At the scene of the attack.**

** Was hoof prints on the forehead,**

** And sleigh marks on the back.**

**Someone got run over by a reindeer,**

** Walkin' home from shopping Christmas eve. **

**You can say there's such a thing as Santa, **

**But Booth and Brennan, they don't believe.**

**Now were all so proud of Parker, **

**He's been takin' this in stride.**

** See him in there watchin' hockey, **

**This isn't the first Christmas someone died. **

**It's not just Christmas without Murder.**

** All the squints are dressed in black.**

** And they just can't help but wonder:**

** Should they open up their gifts or wait till B&B are back? **

**Someone got run over by a reindeer,**

** Walkin' home from shopping Christmas eve. **

**You can say there's such a thing as Santa, **

**But Booth and Brennan they don't believe. **

**Now the corpse is on the table**

** And the Hodgins is checking for residue.**

** There is a blue and silver fiber, **

**That's refusing to be identified. **

**Brennan's glaring at the computer,**

** "Check the printout for yourselves... **

**They should never give a license, **

**To someone who drives a sleigh and drinks with elves."**

**Someone got run over by a reindeer,**

** Walkin' home from shopping,**

** Christmas eve. **

**You can say there's such a thing as Santa,**

** But Booth and Brennan don't believe.**


	5. I Saw Mummy Kissing Santa

I saw Brennan kissing Booth

Underneath the mistletoe last night.

They didn't see me duck

Down the stairs to have a look;

She thought that I was tucked up

in my office hard at work ,

I saw Brennan grab Booth

and undo his shirt so snowy white;

Oh, what a laugh it would have been

If Angela had only seen

Brennan kissing Booth last night.


	6. Rockin' around the Christmas Tree

**ANGELA'S CAROL:**

**Rockin' round the science lab**

**my party shoes are Hot.**

**I laced the egg nog with some rum**

**and now we're really havin fun,**

**life is such a sentimental journey,**

**My dears, **

**So drink some more and**

**Let's be jolly; Deck the Lab with boughs of holly**

** Rocking around the science lab**

**it's a happy place to be**

**Booth and Brennan are making out**

**Oh so merrily.**

**Rocking around the science lab**

**I heard my cell phone ring**

**Cullen found out he won the pool so he'scoming over to do some caroling..**

**We'll all be hurting by the morning, I fear **

**But for now we're still singing"Let's be jolly; Deck the Lab with boughs of holly" **

**Rocking around the Science Lab**

**It's Hodgins lucky day**

**My six months of celibacy**

**Was completed yesterday!**

**(AN- Wrote this before Wendell came on the scene)**


	7. I'm getting nuttin' for Christmas

**Booth's version:**

**I left my cuffs on Bones's bed;**

**Nobody snitched on me.**

**I left a mark on a suspects head;**

**Nobody snitched on me.**

**We made love on Sweets's rug ;**

**I tapped a phone with a bug;**

**Drank Jared's beer in a single chug;**

**And Nobody snitched on me.**

**Oh I'm still getting something for Christmas**

**Even tho people are mad.**

**I'm getting Brennan for Christmas**

**'Cause Baby, Seeley's good at being bad..**

**I made a mess of Brennan's hair**

**nobody snitched on me.**

**I stole the deputy directors chair**

**nobody snitched on me.**

**I did a dance on Hodgins Ants**

**Walked around in only pants**

**refused Perotta at the dance,**

**and nobody snitched on me.**

**I'm still getting something for Christmas**

**Even tho people are mad.**

**I'm gettin' something for Christmas**

**'Cause Baby, Seeley's good at being bad.**

**I've got Brennan for Christmas;**

**Cuz somebody snitched on me.**

**She's gonna give me all her loving,**

**Thank goodness somebody snitched on me.**

**Next year I'll be going straight;**

**Next year we'll be married, just wait**

**I'd surprise her now, but it's too late;**

**Somebody snitched on me.**


	8. Beginning to Look a lot like Christmas

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

Ev'rywhere you go;

Take a look in the Jeffersonian,

glistening once again With candy canes and silver lights aglow.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas,

bodies coming through the door,

But the prettiest sight to see is the mistletoe that will be

Hung over Brennan's office door.

A pair of thigh high boots and a pistol that shoots

Is the wish of Dr. Temperance Brennan;

Brennan in his bed, and nobody being dead Is the hope of Seeley Booth;

And Hodgins just wants a date with the girl named Ruth.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

Ev'rywhere you go;

There's a tree in the Hoover building,

one in the park as well,

The sturdy kind that doesn't mind the snow.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas;

Soon the murders will start,

And the thing that will makes us sing,

is Brennan with Booth's ring, And cupids arrow through her heart.

.


	9. Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire

Corpses roasting on an open fire,

Jack Hodgins with a frozen nose,

Yuletide carols being sung by a choir,

And squints dressed up like Eskimos.

**E**verybody knows it's murder mixed with mistletoe,

That help to make the series bright.

Interns with their eyes all aglow,

Will find it hard to sleep tonight.

**T**hey know that Booth is on his way;

He's found criminals and suspects he'd like to slay.

And every scientist is going to spy,

In a race to figure out the lie.

**A**nd so I'm offering this simple phrase,

To viewers from one to ninety-two,

Although its been said many times, many ways,

A very Merry Christmas to you!


	10. Winter Wonderland

Walking In A Winterwonderland:

Police sirens ring,

are you listening,

In the lane, snow is glistening

A beautiful sight,We're happy tonight in a winter wonderland.

Away is the bluebird,

Here to stay is a new bird

He sings a love song,

As we go along,

Working in a winter wonderland.

In the lab we can build a case file,

Then order Thai and settle down.

I'll say: Did you get them?

He'll say: No, But if we do our job

They'll soon be found..Later on, we'll conspire,

And we'll plan by the fire

To face unafraid, The trap that we've laid,

Working in a winter wonderland.

In the lab we can build a case file,

And dance to Foreigner with a smile,

We'll have lots of fun with the mistletoe,

Until the other squints take it down.

When it snows, ain't it thrilling,

Though your nose gets a chilling

We'll solve what we may, the FBI way,

Working in a winter wonderland.


	11. Frosty the Snowman

Frosty the Snowman

Was a jolly happy soul

With a corncob pipe and a button nose

And two eyes made out of coal

Frosty the Snowman

Was found after a play

He was covered in snow

But the squints know

How he lost his life that day

There must have been some trace

In that old silk hat they found

For when they took it from his head

Hodgins began to dance around

Frosty the Snowman

Is as dead as he could be

But the papers say

He used to laugh and play

Oh so merrily

Frigid the Snowman

Knew his game was up that day

So he said let's run

And we'll have some fun

Now before I'm locked away

Down to the village

With a .306 in his hand

Running here and there all around the square

Yelling catch me if you can

He led them through the streets of town

Right to the marijuana crop

And he only paused a moment when

He heard Booth holler "stop"

Frigid the Snowman

Had to hurry on his way

But he waved goodbye

Saying "don't you cry"

When Booth got'em the old fashioned way

Thumpety thump thump

Thumpety thump thump

Look at Frigid drop

Thumpety thump thump

Thumpety thump thump

A bullet thru his top.


	12. Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer

This one is a little different, I didn't change much, just picture Booth, Hodgins and Wendell drunk in the bar singing it..

Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer (Com'on guys, sing together!)

had a very shiny nose.

And if you ever saw him,

you would even say it glows. (like that sushi stuff Hodgins, that stuff was good)

**A**ll of the other reindeer

used to laugh and call him names.

They never let poor Rudolph join in any DRINKING games. (Booth, that's not what it says! HA That's what you think, am I right Wendell?)

**T**hen one foggy Christmas Eve Santa came to say:

"Rudolph with your nose so bright, (Booth and Wendell shout)won't you light my HOCK-EY GAME tonight?" (HAHAHA)

**T**hen all the reindeer loved him (someone snorts)

as they shouted out with glee, (Glee, what the f* is that about?)

Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer,

YOU SHURE CAN DRINK WHISKEY!!! (Another round boys!..... Dude where did you two get those lyrics? .....)


	13. A Hippo for Christmas

Cam's Carol: (I want a Hippopotamus for Christmas)

I want a Superhero for Christmas

Only a Superhero will do

I don't want a millionaire, or an intern

Unless he's a superhero in disguise..

I want a Superhero for Christmas

I don't think Santa Claus will mind, do you?

He won't have to use a dirty chimney flue

Just bring him through the front door

That's the easy thing to do

I can see me now on Christmas morning

Creeping down the stairs

Oh what joy, what surprise

When I open up my eyes

To see a Superhero standing there

I want a Superhero for Christmas

Only a Superhero will do

No lawyers, no politicians

I only like Superheroes!

And Superheroes like me, too

Booth says Superheroes are too busy, but then

Brennan says that they have super speed..

There's lots of time for him to save the world

And hurry home to cuddle ME!


	14. Booth's Version of Santa Baby

_Booth's version:_

_Bones baby,_

_ put yourself under the tree, for me_

_You've been an awful bad girl_

_Bones baby, so meet me at my place tonight…_

_Bones baby, leave your lab coat on too._

_I've got plans for you dear Bones baby, so meet me at my place tonight_

_Think of all the lovin that we've missed_

_Think of all the times that we didn't kiss_

_Baby, bring those nice new shoes_

_and I'll stare into your baby blues_

_Boo doo bee doo_

_Bones baby, _

_I want to be your man, and I've got_

_a brand new plan_

_Been patient for years_

_ Bones baby, so meet me at my place tonight_

_Bones honey, I'll let you control the tv,_

_If you promise never to leave,Bones baby, _

_so meet me at my place tonight_

_Bones sweetie I'll cover you with chocolate, and wine_

_If you'll only be mine_

_Bones baby, meet me at my place tonight_

_Come and dance with me_

_Wearing only sexy lingerie I really do love you_

_Let's see if you love me too_

_Boo doo bee doo_

_Bones baby,_

_ forgot to mention one little thing, a ring_

_I bought it just for you_

_Bones baby, so meet me at my place tonight_

_Hurry to my place tonight_

_Hurry ... tonight _


	15. Deck the Halls

Deck The Halls:

**Deck the Lab with boughs of holly,**

** Fa la la la la, la la la la.**

** Tis the season to be jolly,**

** Fa la la la la, la la la la. **

**Don we now our squint apparel,**

** Fa la la, la la la, la la la.**

** Troll the Jeffersonian Yule tide carol, **

**Fa la la la la, la la la la. **

**See the forensic case before us,**

** Fa la la la la, la la la la.**

** Grab some tweezers and join the chorus. **

**Fa la la la la, la la la la.**

** Follow me in merry measure,**

** Fa la la la la, la la la la. **

**Watch us do the work we treasure,**

** Fa la la la la, la la la la. **

**Fast away the old year passes, **

**Fa la la la la, la la la la. **

**As we photocopy our asses, **

**Fa la la la la, la la la la. **

**Here we gather, all together, **

**Fa la la la la, la la la la. **

**Heedless of the death and danger,**

** Fa la la la la, la la la la. **


	16. Santa Claus is Coming to Town

Santa Claus Is Coming to Town:

You better watch out

You better not lie

Better not kill

I'm telling you why

Seeley Booth is going to hunt you down

He's making a list

And checking it twice;

Gonna find out

Who's been naughty and nice

Seeley Booth is going to hunt you down

He's thinking while he's sleeping

He's relentless when he's awake

He'll find out if you've been bad or good

So confess for goodness sake!

O! You better watch out!

You better not lie

Better not kill

I'm telling you why

Seeley Booth is going to hunt you down

Seeley Booth is going to hunt you down!!


	17. We wish You a Merry Christmas

**We wish you a Merry Christmas;**

** We wish you a Merry Christmas;**

** We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. **

**Good ratings we bring to you and your team; **

**Good ratings at Christmas**

** for a Happy New Year. **

**Oh, bring us a Bones Christmas; **

**Oh, bring us a Bones Christmas; **

**Oh, bring us a Bones Christmas and a bunch of Bones gear**

**We won't be happy till Booth and Bones get some; **

**We won't be happy till Booth and Bones get some; **

**We want them together forever, so kick them in the rear.**

**We wish you a Merry Christmas; **

**We wish you a Merry Christmas; **

**We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.**


End file.
